If you don't eat your hamburgers you'll die!
by Hermoine147
Summary: This doesn't tell the story of hamburgers at all. Well, at an entirely different world, called Macca, there are 7 continents and our favorite Gintama characters are the heads. For example, Kamui being the prince of the Xeria, which is one of the countries. No pairings yet, rated T, In case for inappropriate words. Genderbending Sougo and Kagura. It revolves entirely on Kaguro.


**Hermoine147: *dokidoki* I'm kind of nervous for my second fanfiction. HERMERGERD. *faints*  
Soune: Are you mocking me, hamburger-loving pig?  
Hermoine147: Pig? How rude of you! I'm not fat! and, you just can't admit that I made you into a girl this time, right, Sougo, nope I meant, Soune~  
Soune: *unsheathes sword* I guess I should cut down some meat and let Hijikata-san eat it.  
Kaguro: Ughh.. Me too?  
Hermoine147: Well yeah, I happened to be a big fan of Okikagu. *W* So yes.  
Kaguro: Minna, don;t forget I'll be the same Kagura you love. for the disclaimers, Gintama isn't this bitch's, got that.  
Hermoine147: Really, the rudeness you two got for me is all over the roof! Well anyway, Let's start the story. Wohoo!**

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In a world called "Macca", there are 7 great countries, if you may, a continent.

Firstly the "Ashurado", the country where most of the humans live. Second was "Seishurun" the country of animals (Nt: This world is a fairy tale so it's a given that animals here talk and act like humans). Third was "Collatera", country of Zombies. Fourth was "Purocia", country of vampires and It's rivaling country, "Wereia" where werewolves live, which was the fifth. The sixth was "Magica", country of Magicians and lastly, the "Xeria" country of killers, demons, etc. Explanation to this country is "country of Darkness" or the most feared country of the world, Macca. People there are called "Xerians".

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Now I start my story in the country of darkness, "Xeria".

Even if it calls itself "Country of Darkness", there also lives a king and a Queen in that place. The Queen died a long time ago and the King refuses to marry another woman for he was loyal to his former and deceased wife. The King's name was Umibouzu. He had two sons, prince Kamui, the eldest and prince Kaguro, the youngest. The two of them were wicked. If they were bored, they try to kill each other. They find pleasure in killing someone. Especially Kaguro, who was so obsessed in getting more power. They are monsters in a human clothing. They rule the "Xerians" whom are also wicked and the hobby is to kill.

Now, let us begin a typical day in the castle of Xeria.

"Hey aniki, I'm bored for real. No one would like to take me on even if I use my title as prince. Why don't you play with me?" A boy about 18 of age with vermilion hair and aqua-like eyes grumbled.

He went to his brother whom has also the same vermilion hair but long and in braids, with the same aqua eyes, 21 in age. The two of them looked similar and the difference was the hair of the older brother. The name of the older brother was Kamui. He gave his little brother, who's name was Kaguro, a very big grin and said, "alright, but I'll have to turn up later, I have work to do."

Kaguro jumped and shouted "Alright!"

He hastily attacked Kamui from the back while temporarily disappearing from Kamui's sight. He kicked Kamui's head Kamui's head but Kamui blocked it by his left arm and in a position to punch Kaguro with his right hand. Kaguro who saw that blocked it with his left hand, but he was unable to see Kamui's left kick so he was overwhelmed by it and went flying to the furnitures.

Kaguro hurriedly stood up and got his umbrella which was lying on the floor and fired bullets from it, Kamui dodged it with the umbrella in his right hand which God knows where he went and got it.

Kamui noticed that one bullet passed through his steel-like umbrella and was unable to dodge it in time. It grazed him on the cheek as it bled with immensely.

"Heh! don't underestimate my bullets, big brother! I had them upgraded after all!" Kaguro informed Kamui with breast-high, telling him of how proud he is in himself.

Kamui smiled and open his eyes widely in which was closed until now and Kaguro knows that it meant that He'll be playing for real. His grin was really wide as he covered half of his face with his left hand. Kaguro smiled widely as sweats dropped from his chin and thought, "Finally, he's serious."

"Hey, Kamui-chan, time to work!" A girl with silver hair going down her waist and in a ponytail with azure-colored eyes interrupted the fight with a smile on her face.

Kamui looked at her still with his psychotic face and gave an oozing aura that meant don't-get-in-my-way-I'm-currently-playing-I'm gonna-kill-you-if-you-do.

The girl smiled sarcastically and told him, " No, you are going, do you understand?"

Kamui's widened eyes closed as his entire psychotic face disappeared. He smiled like he should be and said "Okay, okay, I don't want to get beaten up by you again, Edelweiss."

The girl she called Edelweiss pulled out a threatening smile, "I'm glad you understand."

She walked away as Kamui followed her.

"Hurry up, hurry up, Abuto-chan's gonna get mad!" She said, running with joy or more like skipping.

Kamui took a one last look at his brother who's face was utterly displeased.

"Sorry,Kaguro, Next time, okay?" Then he looked away and continued walking. Edelweiss also looked back and said, "By the way, Kaguro-chan, King Umibouzu's looking for ya, better hurry up or We'll have a new castle of Xeria again."

Kaguro's eyes turned wide of what he had heard, then he smiled and laughed like a psycho. He then uttered hoarsely, "SO THAT FUCKING FATHER HAS DECIDED TO LET ME FIGHT HIM, IS THAT IT, EH?"

Edelweiss smiled and shrugged " I don't know, You'll know yourself when you get there. Let's go Kamui-chan".

Kamui was relieved after seeing Kaguro smile like that as he sighed and finally walked away. For real.

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*Meanwhile in the Castle of Ashurado*

"Princess Nobume?" A girl robot with emerald-coloured hair braided in circle that has very red eyes, asked.

A girl with blue long hair looked at the female robot. Her deep ruby-eyes glittered in fascination when she saw the female robot. She sprang up from the hot tub as her perfect sexy body made her more wanted.

"Tama, has my grandmother arrived?" She question the female robot she called Tama.

" Yes, Lady Otose has arrived. It seems she brought her cat servant, Catherine, with her."

Princess Nobume got out of the Hot tub and went straight to the door, naked. Tama followed her and handed her princess a bath robe. nobume wore it as she continued walking. "Tell me my schedules this day, Tama." she looked at Tama with her fierce red eyes.

The robot did not waver and started speaking, "According to the schedule you have to go through this day, today at 9:00 a.m. you are to meet Lady Otose. At 1:00 p.m. you have to spar with your older brother, prince Gintoki. At 5:00 is to be going on a ball, together with the princesses across the land. It is apparently a princess' party. That's the end of the reports of schedules."

"Across the land?" Nobume asked with her emotionless face.

Tama nodded. "Yes, From Ashurado, the representative is you. From Seishurun comes Princess Pirako. From Collatera comes princess Matako. From Purocia comes princess Soune. From Wereia comes Princess Tsukuyo and Princess Christelle. From Magica comes princess Otsuu. that is all."

Nobume's face darkened, "How about the princess of Xeria?"

Tama sighed and looked outside the window up to the sky, "It seems, Once again, they will stay locked up."

Nobume looked at the same direction and mumbled, "No, I don't think that's the case this time."

Tama looked at her and asked, "What do you mean, princess?"

The emotionless Princess' face smiled evilly whihc made Tama surprised. "Oh yes, they will.I It'll be different this time." Nobume continued.

As for a robot, that smile just now made her machines all clanky, because as far as she can see in her record memory, that was the very first time she saw the princess she served for almost 12 years, smile.

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*Returning to Xeria*

"What? Seriously?" Kaguro's face turned sour when his father, King Umibouzu, said what he was suppose to tell him.

"Yes, from this day on, Xeria will be an open country! And as they enter, we will devour them!" king Umibouzu laughed evilly and became serious all of a sudden, "I'm joking, son. We will never become an open country but what I told you earlier is true."

Kaguro threw his arms up in the air as his eyes sparkled with excitement. He excitedly said, " ARE YOU SERIOUS? i CAN GO OUTSIDE THE COUNTRY?"

King Umibouzu nodded and said "You'll be attending a princess' party therefore you have to cross-dress as a princess and have fun. Talking about fun, I'm not telling you to KILL got it? Head to Ashurado 4:30, you'll arrive there about 4:45 if we talk about your speed in running but be sure to go to Hinowa, The infamous Xeria's witch, I'm sure she'll be a great help to turn you into a fine female."

Kaguro's face was deadpanned and said "Talking about my speed? Then when I arrive in that weak human's place, My dress will be in tatters!"

King Umibouzu hit him in the head and said " Idiot, wear your dress when you arrive then!"

"Where? In the main gate? Where guards there go exclaiming ' The princess of Xeria is changing her clothes in front of the gate, they have no shame!'." Kaguro, still with his deadpanned face was holding his head where his father had hit him.

King Umibouzu hit him again, "Whatever! Just do it your way!"

Kaguro sighed and smiled then exclaimed "HELL YEAH!"

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*Meanwhile in the Purocia Empire*

A girl with sand long hair, ponytailed by the right side flashed as clashing of swords can be heard. Her deep ruby-eyes has the color of blood, as she ran making the bamboos real noisy. Suddenly a bullet hit her right leg which made her roll to the grasses and scream in pain.

"What's the purpose of running away from me, Soune?" A man with silver-gray hair came out of the deep bamboo woods. He was tall, about 24 of age. He wore a white coat and held a gun in his right hand while the left was a sword.

The girl's right eye twitched indicating that she was hurt really bad. "Really, Isaburo-nii-sama, you say you're elite and yet you don't understand! I told you many times that there will be a party with the princess' across the lands this afternoon on 5!"

"Elites don't believe a single word a liar says, Soune. Especially me, the first prine of the Purocia Empire, Prince Isaburo!" The man, Isaburo declared.

Soune pulled out a forced smile , "Baka Aniki!"

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*Meanwhile in Wereia*

"Weird" A girl about 22 of age mumbled as she blew smoke from her mouth. Her dirty blonde hair shone as the sun hits it. Her violet eyes glittered as a scar from her the left side of her face, across and down can be seen. she was wearing a Yukata and it's wight sleeve was torn. So was the left side of her leg, is also torn down as her left leg became visible. She tied her bangs up the same with her hair. "This is very weird." She repeated.

"What do you mean, Princess Tsukuyo?" A girl with black short hair who have killer-like red eyes, asked. she had two horns sticking out of her head and carried a very big club from the back.

The girl, Princess Tsukuyo looked at the black-haired girl and said, "Do you not see how weird it is, Gedoumaru?"

Gedoumaru tilted her head . Tsukuyo closed her eyes and blew from her pipe again, "The princess' party is just a fraud. In there, the fate of Macca is determined."

Gedoumaru gasped a little as her face darkened, " Fate.. of... the.. world? so the party is just a cover to begin a war, yes?"

Tsukuyo nodded, "By the way, How's Christelle?"

"Princess Christelle is sleeping. It seems that you alone will be heading for the party."

Tsukuyo looked at the man-sized window and touched it as it squeaked. "sleeping? I like the term because by the that, she seemed that she would really wake up" how long has she been sleeping again?"

Gedoumaru closed her eyes and bluntly said, "Two years and a month. Precisely, 762 days."

Tsukuyo gripped her pipe as her loose hand turned into a fist and sadly said " No one except the main family and trsuted servant knows this right? That's why she was included in the meeting when in reality, she's-"

"Shhh.." Gedoumaru cut her words odd, "It's better if we wish for her to wake up more."

Tsukuyo smiled and nodded "Yes, this is why I told you you are the best servant there is, Gedoumaru."

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**Author's notes:  
Aniki: Informal way of saying " Older brother".  
Nii-sama: Formal and respectful way of saying "Older Brother".  
Yukata: A Japanese garment usually worn in summer.**

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**Hermoine147: Woah! finished at last. gotta rest my very tired hands.**  
**Kamui: The chapter 1 isn't completed is it?  
Hermoine147: You sure are smart, Kamui. Now, let me give you a R-E-W-A-R-D.  
Edelweiss: *hits Hermoine147* For goodness sake, woman! There's a limitation of your bitchy deeds!  
Hermoine147: You're my OOC but you sure pain my heart. Don't hurt my fragile kokoro please.  
Edelweiss: So? When do you think you'll release another chapter or part two of this?  
Hermoine147: I don't really know. I'm busy but my mind can't concentrate because this story has been running wild in my mind for some time.  
Edelweiss: I see, hear that fellas, seems the next chapter would quite take some time, she says.  
Christelle: and I was obviously put to sleep... I can't accept that, I can't forecast wether anymore!  
Nobume: You never will.  
Hermoine147: Okay, that's it. Imma go back now in hell. Bye guys! Hope you look forward in my next (might-be) updating chapters!**


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